Survivors Guide to Lack of Skippy (LOS)

[dsandfort]

Sadly, most of us don’t have targets known as “skippy”, “squeaks”, “sage rats” or “gophers”. We live in envy through the posts that show up this time of the year while we wait our turn. I live in prairie dog country but most of them are in city limits these days. I’m not sure which is worse, having varmints all around that you can’t shoot, or, not having plentiful varmints.

Since I don’t have skippy around, I thought I’d share my survivors guide to LOS (lack of Skippy).

1. Every time I see a post from skippy-ville, I just sit quietly with my eyes closed and repeat the following chant. (Bourbon helps)

“It’s just a Photoshop image”
“It’s just a Photoshop image”
“It’s just a Photoshop image”

Repeat as necessary.

2. My secret recipe for LOS

Mix the following in a large bucket:

1 large bottle of ketchup
2 pounds of round steak cut in cubes and thin strips (your choice of ratio)
1 box of dark raisins
1 cup of long grain white rice
6 dozen plastic fishing worms (Cabelas IK-134995 in PB&J works well)
If you can snag some faux fur, put some scraps in the mix.

Place mixture in small zip-lock sandwich bags and shoot away.
It’s a heck of a mess but gives a reasonable photo opportunity.

3. Set up your shooting bench in the back yard. Shoulder an imaginary varmint rifle of your choosing. Be bold. Think Dakota or Cooper but make it a favorite.
When you holler “BANG”, have your wife pitch the cat in the air. Practice taking a slow-motion video of the launch.

Remember, no matter what your weather or varmint situation, there’s always something to do in the great outdoors.

Please share your survival techniques.

[Rick in Oregon]

EXCELLENT!

And I'm still laughing as I type this! Most excellent job sir!

I feel your pain, and will do my best to keep you in my thoughts next time we're out launching our favorite rodent in grand fashion. We'll invoke your name whilst doing so. You'll be there in spirit anyway, next best thing, right?

I'll be chuckling to myself for the better part of today.......good job!

[futuretrades]

Now that is some funny stuff! Like RIO said "

I feel your pain, and will do my best to keep you in my thoughts next time we're out launching our favorite rodent in grand fashion. We'll invoke your name whilst doing so. You'll be there in spirit anyway, next best thing, right?

Reading that has made my day

[csand]

Holy cow!!! You're in worse shape than I thought. Just close your eyes, click your boot heels together and repeat the following.

"There's no place like the grassy knoll"
"There's no place like the grassy knoll"

In thirty short days or so you will open your eyes and skippy will be waiting for you to "release his inner self"...............all over the place........... again and again and again.

[Captqc]

I'm man enough to admit that I cried a bit reading this Gary

[TrapperDan]

Your recipe for a blown up Skippy was priceless, then when you added the plastic worms in their I can really visualize a blown up Skippy. I’ve been chuckling to myself for about the past hour over this to the point my wife thinks I’m losing it. Really great.

[Bodei]

Might wanna add a tablespoon of canned spinach. Theyre chomping on fresh grass right now!