Need a laugh????
Posted: Fri May 29, 2009 9:04 pm
Posted
> > to Craig's List Personals:
> >
> > To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in
> > Downtown Savannah night before last.
> >
> > Date: 2009-03-23, 3:43 A M EST
> >
> >
> > I was the guy with the black Burberry jacket that you
> > demanded I
> > hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my
> > girlfriend.
> > You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings.
> >
> > I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like
> > to apologize.
> >
> > I didn't expect you to crap in your pants when I drew
> > my pistol after
> >
> > you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for
> > a reason that
> > evening, and it wasn't that cold outside.
> >
> > You see, my girlfriend had
> > just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 A CP pistol for
> > Christmas,
> > and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that
> > evening.
> > Beautiful pistol, eh?
> >
> > It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at
> > your head, isn't it? I know it probably wasn't a
> > great deal of fun
> > walking back to wherever you'd come from with that
> > brown sludge
> > flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even
> > worse since you
> > also ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and wallet
> > with me. I
> > couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to
> > come help you try
> > to mug us again.
> >
> > I took the liberty of calling your mother, or
> > "Momma"
> > as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her
> > your
> > situation. I also bought myself and four other people in
> > the gas
> > station this morning a tank full of gas on your credit
> > card. The guy
> > with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely
> > grateful!
> > I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by
> > Vinnie Van Go
> > Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet.
> >
> > I threw the wallet in a fancy pink "pimp
> > mobile" parked at the curb after I broke the
> > windshield and side window out and keyed the drivers side..
> > I called a
> > bunch of phone sex numbers from your cellphone. They'll
> > be on your
> > bill in case you'd like to know which ones.. Ma Bell
> > just shut down
> > the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over
> > a day now, so
> > I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they
> > haven't
> > permanently cut off your service.
> >
> > I could only get in two threatening
> > phone calls to the D A 's office and one to the FBI
> > with it.. The FBI guy
> > was really pissed and we had a long chat (I guess while he
> > traced the
> > number).
> >
> > I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and
> > instead
> > making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that
> > you'll
> > reconsider your choice of path in life... Next time you
> > might not be so
> > lucky..
> >
> > - Alex
> >
> > P.S. Remember this motto...... an
> > armed society is a polite
> > society!
I got this in my mail and thought it might be apprieciated here
> > to Craig's List Personals:
> >
> > To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in
> > Downtown Savannah night before last.
> >
> > Date: 2009-03-23, 3:43 A M EST
> >
> >
> > I was the guy with the black Burberry jacket that you
> > demanded I
> > hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my
> > girlfriend.
> > You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings.
> >
> > I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like
> > to apologize.
> >
> > I didn't expect you to crap in your pants when I drew
> > my pistol after
> >
> > you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for
> > a reason that
> > evening, and it wasn't that cold outside.
> >
> > You see, my girlfriend had
> > just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 A CP pistol for
> > Christmas,
> > and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that
> > evening.
> > Beautiful pistol, eh?
> >
> > It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at
> > your head, isn't it? I know it probably wasn't a
> > great deal of fun
> > walking back to wherever you'd come from with that
> > brown sludge
> > flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even
> > worse since you
> > also ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and wallet
> > with me. I
> > couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to
> > come help you try
> > to mug us again.
> >
> > I took the liberty of calling your mother, or
> > "Momma"
> > as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her
> > your
> > situation. I also bought myself and four other people in
> > the gas
> > station this morning a tank full of gas on your credit
> > card. The guy
> > with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely
> > grateful!
> > I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by
> > Vinnie Van Go
> > Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet.
> >
> > I threw the wallet in a fancy pink "pimp
> > mobile" parked at the curb after I broke the
> > windshield and side window out and keyed the drivers side..
> > I called a
> > bunch of phone sex numbers from your cellphone. They'll
> > be on your
> > bill in case you'd like to know which ones.. Ma Bell
> > just shut down
> > the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over
> > a day now, so
> > I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they
> > haven't
> > permanently cut off your service.
> >
> > I could only get in two threatening
> > phone calls to the D A 's office and one to the FBI
> > with it.. The FBI guy
> > was really pissed and we had a long chat (I guess while he
> > traced the
> > number).
> >
> > I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and
> > instead
> > making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that
> > you'll
> > reconsider your choice of path in life... Next time you
> > might not be so
> > lucky..
> >
> > - Alex
> >
> > P.S. Remember this motto...... an
> > armed society is a polite
> > society!
I got this in my mail and thought it might be apprieciated here
