Deer hunting ranch style??
Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 10:56 am
A freind of mine sent this to me I thought y'all here would get a good laugh as I sure did...
Subject: ROPING A DEER
It takes some time to read...but worth every minute! I laughed til tears.
> Roping A Deer
> ..(Names have been removed to protect the stupid!)
>
> Actual Letter from someone who writes, and farms. ..
> ________________________________________________________
>
> I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall,
> feed it
> up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.
>
> The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that,
> since
> they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much
> fear of me
> when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff
> at the
> bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away),
> it should
> not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its
> head (to
> calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.
>
> I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope.
>
> The cattle, having seen the r oping thing before, stayed well back.
> They were not having any of it.
>
> After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I picked
out..
> ...a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and
> threw.. ..my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.
>
> I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would
have a
> good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could
> tell it
> was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.
>
> I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little
> tension on
> the rope and then received an education.
>
> The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand
> there
> looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action
> when you
> start pulling on that rope.
>
> That deer EXPLODED.
>
> The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT
> stronger
> than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could
fight
> down with a rope and with some dignity.
>
> A deer-- no chance.
>
> That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no
> controlling
> it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet
and
> started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having
> a deer
> on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally
imagined.
>
> The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many
other
> animals.
>
> A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to
> jerk me
> off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few
> minutes
> to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out
> of the
> big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed
> venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of
> that rope.
>
> I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck,
it
> would likely die slow and painfully somewhere.
>
> At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At
that
> moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the
> feeling was
> mutual.
>
> Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had
> cleverly
> arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various
> large rocks
> as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly
> enough to
> recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny
> amount of
> responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the
> deer
to
> have it suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in
> between
> my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand...kind
> of like
> a squeeze chute.
>
> I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my
rope
> back.
>
> Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years
> would have
> thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised
when I
> reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my
> wrist.
>
> Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse
> where they
> just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head
> --almost
> like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.
>
> The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze
> and draw
> back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was
> ineffective.
>
> It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes,
> but it
> was likely only several seconds.
>
> I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that
> claim by
> now) tricked it.
>
> While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I
> reached up
> with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got my
> final
> lesson in deer behavior for the day.
>
> Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on
> their
> back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their
> hooves
> are surprisingly sharp.
>
> I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -- like a horse
> --strikes at
> you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing
> to do is
> try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the
animal.
> This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.
>
> This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery
> would not
> work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different
strategy.
>
> I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.
>
> The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a
> horse
> that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you
> in the
> back of the head.
>
> Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being
> twice as
> strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it
> hit me
> right in the back of the head and knocked me down.
>
> Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not
> immediately
> leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed.
> What they
> do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you
> are laying
> there crying like a little girl and covering your head.
>
> I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.
>
> So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle
with a
> scope so that they can be somewhat equal to the Prey... ...
>
Subject: ROPING A DEER
It takes some time to read...but worth every minute! I laughed til tears.
> Roping A Deer
> ..(Names have been removed to protect the stupid!)
>
> Actual Letter from someone who writes, and farms. ..
> ________________________________________________________
>
> I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall,
> feed it
> up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.
>
> The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that,
> since
> they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much
> fear of me
> when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff
> at the
> bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away),
> it should
> not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its
> head (to
> calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.
>
> I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope.
>
> The cattle, having seen the r oping thing before, stayed well back.
> They were not having any of it.
>
> After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I picked
out..
> ...a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and
> threw.. ..my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.
>
> I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would
have a
> good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could
> tell it
> was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.
>
> I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little
> tension on
> the rope and then received an education.
>
> The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand
> there
> looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action
> when you
> start pulling on that rope.
>
> That deer EXPLODED.
>
> The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT
> stronger
> than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could
fight
> down with a rope and with some dignity.
>
> A deer-- no chance.
>
> That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no
> controlling
> it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet
and
> started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having
> a deer
> on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally
imagined.
>
> The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many
other
> animals.
>
> A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to
> jerk me
> off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few
> minutes
> to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out
> of the
> big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed
> venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of
> that rope.
>
> I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck,
it
> would likely die slow and painfully somewhere.
>
> At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At
that
> moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the
> feeling was
> mutual.
>
> Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had
> cleverly
> arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various
> large rocks
> as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly
> enough to
> recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny
> amount of
> responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the
> deer
to
> have it suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in
> between
> my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand...kind
> of like
> a squeeze chute.
>
> I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my
rope
> back.
>
> Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years
> would have
> thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised
when I
> reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my
> wrist.
>
> Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse
> where they
> just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head
> --almost
> like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.
>
> The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze
> and draw
> back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was
> ineffective.
>
> It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes,
> but it
> was likely only several seconds.
>
> I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that
> claim by
> now) tricked it.
>
> While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I
> reached up
> with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got my
> final
> lesson in deer behavior for the day.
>
> Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on
> their
> back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their
> hooves
> are surprisingly sharp.
>
> I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -- like a horse
> --strikes at
> you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing
> to do is
> try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the
animal.
> This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.
>
> This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery
> would not
> work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different
strategy.
>
> I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.
>
> The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a
> horse
> that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you
> in the
> back of the head.
>
> Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being
> twice as
> strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it
> hit me
> right in the back of the head and knocked me down.
>
> Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not
> immediately
> leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed.
> What they
> do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you
> are laying
> there crying like a little girl and covering your head.
>
> I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.
>
> So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle
with a
> scope so that they can be somewhat equal to the Prey... ...
>
